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Don't Reach for Just Any Old Quote
by John Rains
Here's a passage from Paula LaRocque's book Championship
Writing: "The right quotes, carefully selected and presented,
enliven and humanize a story and help make it clear, credible,
immediate and dramatic. Yet many quotations in journalism are
dull, repetitive, ill-phrased, ungrammatical, nonsensical,
self-serving or just plain dumb."
Ah, yes. The right quotes help make a story sing. The dull ones
need to go into the trash, and we writers and editors need the
confidence to put them there.
This is the kind of quote that ought not see the light of print:
"Our goal has always been to improve and expand technology-based
learning in our schools," Taylor said. "Through partnering with
ExplorNet we have encouraged our schools to coordinate resources
from government, business and individuals for maximum
effectiveness and minimum public expenditures."
Is there any life in that paragraph of verbiage? Can you even
understand what is being said without having to read it again?
No?
Why then would a writer inflict it on readers who are paying for
the story?
At least two things happen when dull quotes clutter a story, and
both are bad. First, the dull quotes tend to tarnish the good
ones, assuming the story has some. Second, a succession of dull
quotes turns the story itself into so much sludge. Readers --
those who try to struggle through -- get lost.
Here's what to do with quotes that are dull or "just plain dumb":
- Trim. Use only the portion that makes some sense. Just be careful that the trimming is done in a way that leaves the speaker's meaning intact.
- Paraphrase. You're the writer. You can say it clearly and succinctly.
- Dump. Be honest. Does the quote add anything to the story?
More Tips on Using Quotes:
- Keep them short.
Quotes that run longer than two or three
sentences tend to sound like sermons or lectures.
- Keep them in context.
Make sure you are using quotes in a way
that conveys the meaning the speaker intended.
- Never change words in a quote.
Instead of "fixing" the quote,
paraphrase it. Or drop it. It's OK, however, to delete "ums" and "ahs" and to spell out slurred phrases: "would have" instead of "would've," "it had" instead of "it'd."
- Avoid parenthetical insertions.
They are clunky and hard to read.
They may make it appear that we are pointing a derisory finger at
the speaker. If you must insert, do it properly. Use ellipses to show deletion
instead of just substituting a word in parentheses. Like this: "I
guess ... (Jones) couldn't stand to be alone." Or simply leave in
the original word and clarify in parentheses: "I guess he (Jones)
couldn't stand to be alone."
- Avoid ellipses in most quotes
(except for the example we just
mentioned), unless you are quoting from documents. In quoting
conversation, leave off those dots at the beginning and end of a
sentence.
- Avoid the "said of" formula.
Weak: "I can't stand this," he said
of his new job. A quote should be clear to the reader as it is
being read.
- Avoid quoting fragments of only one or two words.
Quotation marks
are useful only if the fragment is an unusual word or is a word
used in an odd way. If you put an ordinary word in quotes,
readers may take it as a sly way of showing doubt.
- Don't rush quotes in prematurely.
No rule requires you to put a
quote in second or third paragraph of your story, although it is
all right to put one there if it works well.
- Introduce the speaker early.
Give attribution as quickly as
possible, not at the end of a fat paragraph. Good places are
within the first sentence, if you can take advantage of a natural
pause, or at the end of the first sentence.
- Signal a change to a new speaker.
Don't just close one quote and
start a new one from a new speaker without giving the reader a
heads-up.
- Supply grammatical punctuation for spoken quotes.
Don't run
sentences together even if the speaker did.
- Avoid getting in the way of the quote.
Don't use clumsy setups
such as "When asked why ..." or "Asked why ..."
- Remember that the best verb for attribution is usually "said."
It is neutral
and unobtrusive. Other verbs may be loaded, depending on the
context. People don't sniff, smile, or laugh sentences or paragraphs.
- Use attribution to anchor a quote directly to the source.
Don't
leave it to the reader to do the work of making the connection. Avoid double attribution unless you're quoting from a document.
Doubling up on the attribution gives a jarring effect of people
speaking in unison.
- Avoid trying to quote in dialect and substandard forms.
Often,
readers will misinterpret your motives. They may suspect you of
patronizing or making fun of the speaker.
Find Out More...
Copyright © 2004 John Rains
This article may not be reprinted without the author's written permission.
John Rains is a newspaper writing coach in North Carolina and
has self-published three books: Shooting Straight in the Media:
A Firearms Guide for Writers, Writing Beyond the Routine/For
More Readable Newspapers, and Write Your Way into the Papers.
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Becoming a successful writer isn't just about mastering great writing skills. It's also about overcoming the challenges and obstacles of the writing life: Rejection, fear of failure, lack of time, writer's block, the "Am I Really a Writer?" syndrome, and, of course, friends and family who just don't get it.
Fortunately, you're not alone. We've all been there. So here's a handy "survival guide" that will bring you inspiration, motivation, support and good old-fashioned advice to help you through the tough times. Don't let those writing gremlins keep you from achieving your dreams!
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